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REFF Critiquers:
 Setsuna
Kyubi Kitsune
Laine
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Original Artwork
Artwork by Eve
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Personal website: n/a
Specialty in Art: other
Specialty in Medium: computer graphics
Self-estimated level: intermediate
Artist's Comments: I'd like to improve on the composition I choose for my illustrations as well as get some more originality to my art style. I'd also like to get some tips on clothes and wrinkles on fabric.
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 Setsuna Says: Actually, I really like this image as it is... I don't think I'm advanced enough to detect anything really wrong with it. So... I'll try to help you in the originality/composition department by just chucking ideas at you...
You could probably add interest to this image by just adding some extra elements. A background, objects in the foreground. How about following on the 'shoujo' look and adding some floating/flying objects, like cherry blossom petals (reminiscent of the flowers in the girl's hair), autumn leaves, feathers, butterflies, ribbons or streamers, etc. You can create a nice arrangement in this fashion and divert the viewer's eyes around the image, and it'd be a handy challenge and display of your skill.
As for folds and wrinkles, I'll bet you've heard it a million times before - practice from real life. I guess there really is no short cut for this (which is why so many people would have problems with it.) I have the same problems as well.
So, here is the inevitable long way. I think the best way would probably be not to use this fanart piece as your practice, but to go off and practice separately the different folds. There is a book written just precisely on this topic. If you can track it down, the title is "The Seven Laws of Folds" by George B Bridgman, published by Bridgman Publishers, Inc: Pelham, New York. The first edition was published in 1942... (actually, this MIGHT be a bit more than your local library might have... Go to a college or university near you and raid the Art Department libraries). According to this book, there are quite a number of different types of folds you would have to master... (1) pipe or drop folds, (2) zigzag folds, (3) spiral, (4) diaper pattern, (5) half-lock fold, (6) drop fold... Alright, this is beginning to be more than you need to know, *phew*
Good work, here. A really pleasant looking image.
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Kyubi Kitsune Says: Hi Eve~!
Wow~~ there isn't much left for me to say on top of what Setsuna and Laine's suggestions~ p^o^q;
First of all, I'd like to say that your soft shadings really do bring out this gentle feeling to your drawing. Even through there is very little background or detail or ornamentation, the girl has a "sweetness" to her just from the expression on her face and the soft colorings. Very very nicely done. ^_^
As for what you'd like to improve on.. the composition is okay, but there is a lot of empty space at the top that sort of makes the bottom of page seem.. "heavy". What you should consider is breaking that empty space (otherwise called "negative space") and make it more interesting by pulling the girl higher on the page, maybe drawing more of her figure in, and having things like her dress or hair or something "bleeding" out of the page. That will make your drawing look more dynamic. ^_^
Keep up the great work~! ^_^
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Laine Says: hi hi ^0^ pweety image there ! really sweet looking girl there , the colors combinations are good and her expression is pretty good too ..sorta like she's laughing warmly at me :D
hm..crits ...first thing i notice is that her hands seem to be disappearing ? i know that she's supposed to be holding her skirt or something but the way her folds are drawn make it look strange , like her hands just disappeared there .
hm...her left hand seems to be holding the cloth there at where the folds are more fine.. ? nu...her hands look sorta ...short like this . her forearm needs to be longer a bit . you could try to correct it with some foreshortening but that would need her entire arm to be moved to our right so that it would seem like it is coming towards the viewer .
nitpicking : there's one strip of hair on her leftcollorbone , it seems to be going into the cloth ? dunno , but it seems to be cut off from coloring over the original outlines or something...
she could use darker shadows on the neck aread and shoulders/collarbones where it is covered by hair . this will add some depth to the picture and make the hair more defined .
hm...now that im looking at it more....her left shoulder seems to be a bit off too ! O_o the hair covers it up so it's not very noticable , but if you follow her neckline ... the shoulder should be higher up a bit ... either that or its her neck being a bit long . hm..not very noticable there so no big worries ne !
more nitpicking : her left eyebrow is a liiiitttlleeee bit higher than it should be ...she looks like she's raising her eyebrow at me ~~ also , her right eye seems a bit cut off with a straight line before it reaches the bridge of the nose ..
on improvements : hm..maybe more details in the flowers of her hairband ? can never go wrong with details , they add credibility :D some flower petals like Sets said , maybe some trees and stuff ...and when advanced enough , some shadows from the leaves above her or something :D
your folds seems pretty good to me , the shading and all :D just that..maybe ye could add some variety to the folds in her skirt there ? hm....outlines need to be more clean a bit there...and the hair coloring could use a little more "tightness" to it [ tightness is like..uhm...cleaner , sharper coloring ? i tihnk ...]
woahp , one more nitpicky thingy , the shadows on her arms and skirt show the light source coming from her right , but if that were so , the shadow on her face should be on the left , not the right...although the right will have some shadows from the hair covering it ...there will be some shadows on her left cheek too .
nice pastel-ish colors :D gambare ne !
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